Various things along with the questions.
-
amplissumus is superlative.
- It's fine to leave
praenomina as initials, but here's a list if you haven't checked it already:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Praenomen#Latin_praenomina
- We say pontifex maximus in English as well.
- With names, make sure to change accusatives to what we use in English (
Gracchum > Gracchus).
- You didn't translate
privatus.
"Catilinam orbem terrae caede atque incendiis vastare cupientem nos consules perferemus?"
What does "caede" means here? The only appropriate use I could find for it here was changing the meaning of "atque" from "yet" to "and", thus: "Shall we consuls endure the desirous Catiline devastating the territory of the country(state) with flames and blood?". But I find this use kinda strange because I fell that it doesn't connects with the previous statement.
atque (and
ac) are very common words that mean 'and'.
at on its own can mean 'yet'. Here,
atque is joining
caede and
incendiis, and your translation is close. You can translate
caedes (from
caedere) as butchery, slaughter, etc.
-
vastare is dependent on
cupientem.
-
orbem terrae (literally, 'circle of land/earth') is a phrase you can just translate as 'world'.
-
nam can have an adversative force, but the usual translation of 'for' works here.
-
quod doesn't mean 'because' here; more 'that', explaining the
illa nimis antiqua.
-
Maelium: same thing as
Gracchum above; also don't forget to include Sp. (i.e., Spurius).
- You didn't translate
studentem which goes with
novis rebus.
"novis rebus"
I think "for new things" isn't right, I find it too literall.
It's ablative going with
studentem. 'New things' is indeed the literal translation, and a more idiomatic way it's translated is 'revolution'.
-
Fuit, fuit ista...: If a
fuit or
fuerunt begins a sentence, you can usually translate it as "there was/were".
- You translated
in hac re publica as "of the state in this event(affair)", but remember what
res publica means (which you translated correctly above with
statum rei publicae).
-
ut viri fortes...coercerent: what kind of subjunctive clause is this?
- "the dangerous citizen(enemy of the state) with vigorous tortures (that are) as harsh as possible": some work needed here. Both
civem perniciosum and
acerbissimum hostem are objects of
coercerent. And notice they're separated by
quam, and we have a comparative with
acrioribus. Rework this one.
- "about you": how would you translate
in te literally?
"non deest [...], consules desumus."
I don't know what is the appropriate use of "deest, desumus", here I assumed that it meant "wanting" in the sense of "the will of", like "The will of the consuls(senate, this order authority)".
You can see the meaning here from L&S:
II. Pregn., to fail, be wanting in one's duty, as in rendering assistance, etc.; not to assist or serve, to desert one, to neglect a person or thing.
That should help.