None who fall asleep are safe from him

[SaffronsCurse]

Hi,

I am writing lyrics for a song, and there is a short part that is to be in Latin.

"None who fall asleep are safe from him"

Context: The song is about a (male) demon who haunts the sleeping.

 

[Pacifica]

Hi,

Should the translation have the same rhythm as the English version?

 

[Issacus Divus]

I can start the chain with "Qui dormiunt non
defenduntur *ab eo". There are better ways to say this, undoubtedly.

 

[Pacifica]

The grammar would be correct if you had ab eo.

I also think there are better ways to put it, but let's wait until we know if it needs to fit a certain rhythm.

 

[SaffronsCurse]

Wow, that was fast, people!

- The rhythm is not that important. I'll figure out the rhythm after the lyrics are ready.

 

[Issacus Divus]

The grammar would be correct if you had ab eo.

Ah, right; like a and an.

 

[Bitmap]

Ah, right; like a and an.

(not quite actually ... ab *has* to stand before vowels, and (unlike an) it *can* stand before consonants... and before t it becomes abs (-> a te / abs te)

 

[Issacus Divus]

I know now. I've just looked at a Reddit post that said the same

I remember learning about this, but it wasn't really explained well (neither was e/ex)

 

[Pacifica]

Ah, right; like a and an.

Kind of.

For the translation I might suggest nemo dormiens ab illo tutus est. It should be easy to fit into some kind of rhythm, like this:
ne-mo-dor-mi-ens-a-bil-lo-tu-tus-est

 

[Pacifica]

Or, to better convey the idea of falling asleep, as opposed to just sleeping (dormiens means sleeping), you could say nemo obdormiens ab illo tutus est. This could have the same rhythm if you elide the o of nemo (nem'obdormiens...).

 

[SaffronsCurse]

"Nemo obdormiens ab illo tutus est"

Ok, thanks to everyone who helped!