Quid sum? (What am I?) Latin writing game

[Glabrigausapes]

Tibei si caput deest, ted oportet Nicen Samothracias esse (tale solum mi occurrens).

 

[Agrippa]

Νίκη sum virgo, Victoria, Rustice, pulchra:
pulchrior esse putor quam Venus ipsa potens.

 

[Glabrigausapes]

It really is a marvelously beautiful thing. The navel visible through the cloth, the strophion, & her being βαθύκολπος. If it is at all erotic, it is in the least mundane way.

Ora duodecim habemus, ter quibus in totidem adsunt
lumina saltem quae nulla uidere solent.
Cognati fuimus Fortunae omnipotenti:
quod sortem attingit cernimus id omne hominum.

Tute nobeis dice quid siemus, sapiens coniector.

 

[Glabrigausapes]

Oh what in fuck... the o in duodecim is short?! Whatever man, stet. I know better than those jackasses.

 

[Glabrigausapes]

Incidentally, ora = 'facies', sed non 'rostrum'.

 

[Bitmap]

Oh what in fuck... the o in duodecim is short?! Whatever man, stet. I know better than those jackasses.

Yes ... (the o in duo is short, too). That's why you never read duodecim in dactylic poetry, but things like bis sex or ter quater.
There are other flaws with the metre as well, but don't worry

I have no real clue what you are, though.

 

[Glabrigausapes]

Man, Classical Latin meter is a real disaster. No augments, few workable particles, & every useful form is this unga-bunga long-long-long syllable (unless some special rule applies, like 'iambic shortening', which is to begin with the Romans realizing 'hey, how come our inelegant language can't have nifty little words like that? I know what we'll do! Now it's modŏ, teehee. Don't tell nobody.') that gobbles up the line.

There are other flaws with the metre as well

Do tell, my good man.

 

[Glabrigausapes]

Little as I like this malarkey, I'd like to improve.

 

[Bitmap]

Do tell, my good man.

Cognati fuimus Fortunae omnipotenti:

This has a hiat.

quod sortem attingit cernimus id hominum.

The id is short.

 

[Agrippa]

Omittamus, o doctissimi socii, quaestiones metricas! Redeamus ad rem!
Arcanis verbis tuis, o Rustice, lectis primo aspectu de Graeis, Horis, Parcis cogitavi, sed quo diligentius cogito, eo minus puto me recte cogitare...

 

[Glabrigausapes]

This has a hiat. The id is short.

I thought as much. Many thanks.

Arcanis verbis tuis, o Rustice, lectis primo aspectu de Graeis, Horis, Parcis cogitavi, sed quo diligentius cogito, eo minus puto me recte cogitare...

Ideo ualde laetor, quod aenigma meum istas mentes uostrum magnificas obstat. Sed moneminei: responsum in posto meo inueni potestur.

 

[Glabrigausapes]

omne hominum

That's gotta be a no-no. That would sound idiotic.

 

[Bitmap]

Are you the Lizard King?

 

[Glabrigausapes]

Haha, no.
The exact answer is within this block of text:

Ora duodecim habemus, ter quibus in totidem adsunt
lumina saltem quae nulla uidere solent.
Cognati fuimus Fortunae omnipotenti:
quod sortem attingit cernimus id omne hominum.

Tute nobeis dice quid siemus, sapiens coniector.

The exact answer.

 

[Glabrigausapes]

 

[Agrippa]

Verbis tuis denuo diligentissime perpensis, o vir tenebrose, fieri non potest quin scribam:

Orbem signiferum, cui Zωδιακὸν breve nomen,
Ante oculos posuit mens tibi, amice, sagax.

 

[Glabrigausapes]

Eccum virum ingeniosum! Attamen, heu me miserum! recte non commentu's, frater.

 

[Glabrigausapes]

Littera pro littera, uerbum quod quaerimus extat in hac pagina. Sedet sub poemate.

 

[Agrippa]

...Sedet sub poemate.

Nescio quod dicas carmen: mihi, Rustice, pandere debes.

 

[Bitmap]

Nescio quod dicas carmen: mihi, Rustice, pandere debes.

Nice heptameter