A letter to a friend (would like corrections)

[Homo-Invictus]

Hey guys, a friend of mine (who is a latin student at Edinburgh) has agreed to write letters to me over the Summer in Latin, to help us both improve. This is my first letter (with the names removed) but I'm quite new to the language so if someone could give it a quick check over and let me know if there are any corrections to be made. If you think any changes should be made, please tell me why they should be made so that I can learn.

Thanks very much in advance! Here is the text:

X-us Y-ae s.p.d

Salve, mea amīca carissima. Quid agis? Sperō tē esse salva fēlīcisque. Tibi scrībō in tabernā operosā in quā castellum vidēre possum. Adhuc in Adenā remaneō sed paucīs diēbus iterum domum discēdam. Totam aestātem agam in urbe quae dīcitur esse “donum deī”... (at ego discrēpō!)
Dīc mihi dē vitā in Pragā! Olim īre debeō ut flūmen Vltavam (dē quā Smetana maxima musīca sua composuit) videam. Tempestas bona vidētur tēcum discēssisse... Iam hīc semper pluit. Quam est caelum in Pragā? Spērō id esse meliōrem quam nostrum!

Laetē quoque nuntiō mē omnia studia mea optimē perfēcīsse! Itaque, ante diem decimum Kalendās Iūliās mihi prīmus gradus dābitur. Celebrābō quandō plūs pecūniae accipiam...

Grātiās tibi agō propter amīcitiam tuam. Sī satis temporis habēs, scrībe ad me, amābō tē. Sī etiam errāvī, corrige mea verba. Tīrō humilis sum. Cum sōl paene occidit, hae litterās breviōris est. Sperō mē mox ā tē audīre.

Sī valēs, valeō.

Gregorius

 

[Manus Correctrix]

Felix doesn’t change for the feminine, and anyway you need salvam fēlīcemque.

I don’t think the interrogative quam can modify nouns.

 

[Homo-Invictus]

Gratias tibi ago, amice.

The first one was a stupid mistake - I'll try and think of a better way of wording the second.

 

[Manus Correctrix]

Dīc mihi dē vitā in Pragā!

Here, you have a prepositional phrase modifying a noun instead of a verb, but it may be acceptable.

(at ego discrēpō!)

Discrĕpō. I actually understood this as ‘I am different’ at first. For ‘disagree’ I might prefer dissentiō, but that’s probably just me.

Totam aestātem agam in urbe

If this is a timeframe starting in the past and lasting until the present moment (i.e. ‘I’ve been in the city for the whole summer.’), then I think it would benefit from the adverb jam being added.

 

[Homo-Invictus]

If this is a timeframe starting in the past and lasting until the present moment (i.e. ‘I’ve been in the city for the whole summer.’), then I think it would benefit from the adverb jam being added.

It isn't intended that way. It's supposed to mean: "I will be spending the whole Summer in the city"

Thanks for the additional help!

 

[Manus Correctrix]

It isn't intended that way. It's supposed to mean: "I will be spending the whole Summer in the city"

Oh, my mistake. I read ago for agam. You’re quite right.

 

[Manus Correctrix]

hae litterās breviōris est.

I can’t make out what you’re saying here. Hæ litteræ breviōrēs sunt? Hæc epistola/epistula brevior est?

Sperō mē mox ā tē audīre.

Seems like an English closing-formula translated very literally into Latin.

 

[Homo-Invictus]

Yeah I wasn't sure about the closing remark either. I haven't read enough latin literature to be thinking in Latin phrases yet, unfortunately.

Hae litterae breviores sunt = This letter is rather short. In some of the latin textbooks that I've looked at, littera = a letter (of the alphabet) and litterae = a letter (to someone).

Upon checking my dictionary, there are two other entries for letter - epistula and epistolium. I guess I could change it to epistula but is it really a problem?

 

[Manus Correctrix]

Hæ is fine, but I don’t see why litterās is accusative or breviōris is genitive. The adjective and the verb are then also incorrectly singular.

It needs to be as one of the two ways that I put it.

 

[Imperfacundus]

Spero me auditum iri

 

[Imperfacundus]

Tibi scrībō in tabernā operosā in quā castellum vidēre possum
= tibi litteras sedens in tablino scribo arce mihi aspectabili

 

[Manus Correctrix]

Spero me auditum iri

‘I hope to be heard’ instead of ‘to hear from you’? I don’t see how this makes it better. Surely to speak of hearing at all doesn’t make sense when the meaning is ‘write back to me’.

 

[Homo-Invictus]

Spero te mihi mox scriptura esse? - Doesn't sound as nice to me, but atleast I avoid using an English idiom.

 

[Imperfacundus]

Sorry, he meant something like spero me mox te auditurum esse.Which you can read two ways, of course, and is a very english usage of audire. @Invictus: you need an accusative. Also, I'd say responsuram.

 

[Matthaeus]

Well, one way really, since he's corresponding with a woman in this case.

 

[Manus Correctrix]

Suggestions:

Te mox rescribere valde cupio.

Nuntia de te accipere valde cupio.

But we should be able to copy a closing formula verbatim from a classical epistle.

 

[Godmy]

- Paucis diebus post

(Nam minus est "in paucis diebus" hoc in contextu - aut non latine sed anglice est.
Post paucos dies -> paucis diebus post; post paulum -> paulo post; ante paulum -> paulo ante... etc.)
---------

- Quam est caelum in Praga - Quod est caelum Pragae-loc = in Praga (oppidis et urbibus vel Urbi enim casūs locativos adhibere licet) = quod caelum.. qui vir.. quae femina aut quale caelum, qualis vir, qualis femina

----
Spero id esse meliorem -> Spero id esse melius [id caelum melius.. vel melior tempestas: Spero meliorem tempestatem tibi esse quam nostram] (neutra enim accusativo carent... vel aliqui dicunt ea nominativis carere et omnia accusativos esse quoniam saepissime obiectūs sint)

Video, obiter, te alicui Pragae viventi scribere... ego Bohemus enim sum, quamobrem gaudeo

 

[Manus Correctrix]

Celebrābō quandō ...

Quando is only interrogative. Otherwise, ‘when’ is ubi, cum, etc.

 

[Godmy]

Apud Plautum "quando" loco "cum/quum/quom" nonnumquam videtur... sed tecum assentio, cum scribamus non archaice sed classice.

 

[Imber Ranae]

Quando is only interrogative. Otherwise, ‘when’ is ubi, cum, etc.

Relative quando is comparatively rare, but it does exist in the classical language. It is almost always causal in significance, however, and thus not equivalent to relative cum/ubi/ut + indicative.