Dark Matter is Original Sin

By callofcthulhu, in 'Latin to English Translation', Mar 3, 2019.

  1. callofcthulhu New Member

    Hello,

    Not sure if this rightly belongs in English > Latin, but I have attempted to transcribe a poem I have written into Latin.

    Though my 3 years of AP Latin are over 10 years behind me, my hope is that by hopefully excusing some of the oddities as "poetic language" I will have constructed something that at least an amateur Latin enthusiast could not easily roast to shreds.

    The poem:

    Expulsi ex Eden
    A Cherubin
    Et Gladio Igne,

    Gratia scientiae
    Patimus, non
    Ignorantia solatur.

    Ad astra oculis
    Secuti,
    Numeramus stellas.

    Ratione obscurata,
    Mysterium
    Vertit ad verum--

    Lamiae, Sophiae,
    Dei,
    aut dedecoris

    Infinitum metiri
    Nomen--
    Absolutum, primum, atrum.


    I'm hoping this says something along the lines of:

    "(we were) Banished from Eden by Cherubs and a Flaming Sword, we suffer for the sake of knowledge. Ignorance does not console. With eyes following the heavens, we number the stars. With the calculation being confounded, (ambiguous he/she/it) turns mystery into fact--(whether it be) Lamia's, Sophia's, God's, or guilt's--a Name to measure the infinite, absolute, original, (and) Dark."

    I've omitted a "nobis" from the first line (should be paired with "expulsi") under the assumption that it's sufficiently implied from the nom/masc/pl participle form and the main verb being 1st/pl - not sure if that's actually acceptable.

    I believe "Gladio Igne" would more accurately be translated as "Fire Sword," but Gladio Flammeo sounds too hokey to me.

    My biggest fudge is trying to stretch "nomen" to be the subject of "vertit," the idea being the reader is not any more sure who is accountable for the transition of mystery to fact than the speaker is, and whatever name you call it by will ultimately be insufficient anyway--does that make sense, or is poetic license overstepping its boundaries in trying to cover up bad grammar?

    Thanks for any and all feedback.
    Last edited by callofcthulhu, Mar 3, 2019

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