1. inthegobi New Member

    Here are some i've come across in my translating. Maybe they are interesting exercises for translating. Please add more - one life-goal is to be able to make people groan in more than one language.

    (Although, I think all of these count as puns, not exactly jokes.)

    (1) The following comes from Barbara Tuchman's book The March of Folly 'The Renaissance Popes Provoke the Protestant Secession'. It seems there was an old Roman wall upon which citizens could write graffiti, to blow off a little steam. Olympia was a niece of a Pope, and rumored to live too well:

    Olim pia, nunc impia

    Here are three (pretty weak) scholar-type puns from my stuff on Christopher Clavius (1538-1612) an astronomer. (He's proving that the planets have to be approaching and receding from the earth, and therefore cannot be in perfectly concentric paths around it. Each piece of evidence is called an apparentia. So the vision that the Sun periodically changes size through a year is one apparentia):

    (2) A pun on apparentia that works the same when Englished:

    Eadem haec apparentia tantum habuit robur apud Averroem, ut coegerit illum fateri . . . 'necesse esse, ut Sol moveatur regulariter in orbe eccentrico, quandoquidem circa centrum terrae ita irregulariter movetur.' Ut etiam ex hoc loco eius inconstantia appareat, quia alibi eccentricos omnino e medio sustulit.

    (3) A sly pun on light and the clear shadows cast by it, and 'illuminating' evidence:

    Quod idcirco dixerim, ut studiosus lector videat, tam illustrem esse hanc apparentiam de magnitudine Planetarum, quae sine Eccentricis et Epicyclis defendi non potest, ut sponte sese oculis nostris interdum obiiciat sine ministerio instrumentorum.

    (4) My favorite one (I've got my choice already, and it's pretty dreadful, but none of these puns are knee-slappers):

    [M]erito decreverunt Astronomi, Planetas in orbibus eccentricis, atque Epicyclis vehi, non autem in concentricis, cum per hos tueri non possimus tam multiplicem varietatem in motibus Planetarum.

    Happy translating.

    Chris Kirk
  2. Iohannes Aurum Technicus Auxiliarius

    • Technicus Auxiliarius
    This one is found in many introductory Latin textbooks, including Wheelock's Latin: Semper ubi sub ubi
  3. Iordanus Active Member

    Cæsar ad sum jam forti
    Brutus et erat.
    Cæsar sic in omnibus
    Brutus sic is at.
    (Caesar had some jam for tea
    Brutus ate a rat.
    Caesar sick in omnibus
    Brutus sick his hat.)
    JennAnn and Numarius like this.
  4. LCF a.k.a. Lucifer

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Apud Inferos
    Marcus quidam iuvenis, iam 25 annos impletus, olim cum amico suo quidquid in buccam garrivit:

    "Quid non est tibi uxor Marce?" inquit ei.

    "Nescio, multas virgines uxorem ducere volo, mi amice, sed nullam illarum mater mea diligit"

    "Bah! tibi hoc consilium dem. ita facias, virgo tua similis matre tuad sit, ut mater eam diligat"

    Post pauculum, amici nostri iterum conveniunt.

    "Fecistin' quod dixi?"

    "Ita vero, inveni virginem valde similem matre mead. Atque mater mea eam valde diligit"

    "Eh? cur igitur tristus?"

    "PATER eam nunc non diligit"

    Finis.
  5. Iordanus Active Member

    MVR (magna voce rideo)! :hysteric:
    tuad and mead? Is that vulgar Latin? I don't think I've heard that before.
    JennAnn likes this.
  6. LCF a.k.a. Lucifer

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Apud Inferos
    it's just for clarity and easy reading for a declension ablative :) Friend of mine got me hooked on this archaism :)
    JennAnn likes this.
  7. Iordanus Active Member

    Here's one I found on the Internet:
    A good Latin student never declines sex.
  8. Iordanus Active Member

    It's a little known fact that Julius Caesar did not die
    from stab wounds by Brutus, but, rather, was poisoned.
    During a sumptuous banquet which they both attended on
    that fateful Ides of March, Brutus slipped some poisonous
    hemlock leaves onto Julius' salad.

    When Julius slumped over into his salad, Brutus feigned
    concern and asked, "My dear friend Julius, how many hemlock leaves have you eaten?" To which Julius gasped in reply:

    "Ate two, Brute."
    JennAnn likes this.
  9. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    Not initially a Latin joke either, but one that I translated as well:

    Erat rabbinus, qui habebat filium. Olim filium Hierosolymam misit ut illic omnia quae ad religionem attinent, cultum scripturasque, apud doctissimos in re perdisceret. Paucis post mensibus tamen rabbino refertur filium Christianum factum esse. "Me miserum!" ingemuit attonitus ille, "Qui fieri potest? Filium meum, Christianum factum! Quidnam male feci ut tanta calamitas mihi contingat?" Statim statuit alium rabbinum de re consulere, qui erat vero praestantissimus sapientissimusque rabbinus, quem cuncti illius terrae Iudaei reverebantur valde. Cum ergo apud illum pervenisset, quid sibi accidisset exposuit. At "O miser!" inquit ille, "nescio quid tibi dicam... Ego quoque enim filium habui... Illum Hierosolymam misi... Et ille quoque Christianus factus est." Tum ambo coeperunt desperati orare, et occasio illis data est ut ipsum Deum Aeternum alloquerentur. Quid sibi accidisset ergo exposuerunt et "O miseri!" respondit Deus, "nescio quid vobis dicam... Ego quoque enim filium habui. Illum Hierosolymam misi... Et Christianus factus est."
    Nikolaos, Iordanus, LCF and 1 other person like this.
  10. lol Pacis, that's hilarious and I think it's funnier in Latin.
  11. Iordanus Active Member

    Here's a bad one:
    Why is mittere cold?
    Because he forgot his present active participle.
    Corné and Nikolaos like this.
  12. Matthaeus Vemortuicida strenuus

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Varsovia
    his mittens, lol
  13. Iordanus Active Member

    During a Latin class:
    Teacher: This is really hard.
    Student A: And very long too.
    Student B: I can't do it.
    Student C: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
  14. Iordanus Active Member

    duae mulieres garriunt.

    Prima: cur non reddidisti anulum quem tu invenisti?
    Secunda: non putavi esse necesse.
    Prima: quomodo?
    Secunda: in anulo scriptum est: "TVVS IN AETERNVM".
    Pacis puella likes this.
  15. Iordanus Active Member

    "mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est, urbs habeat octo colles!"
    A good Yo Mamma insult in Latin by Henry Beard.
  16. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    Haha! It should be habeat, however. :p
  17. Iordanus Active Member

    Just realised that, because I copied and pasted the text from a website.
  18. LCF a.k.a. Lucifer

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Apud Inferos
    Satanas et Marcus

    Satanas olim Romam visit. Omnes Romani hoc timentes, actutum
    defugere inceperunt in templum dei, ad orandum Christum, ut adiuvet...

    Tantum Marcus, quidam senex, non defugit, et ubicumque sedebat, mansit.

    Statanas ad eum adveniens:

    "Non fugis?"

    "Minime!" respondit senex.

    "Non times?"

    "Minime!" sine timore.

    "Quare hoc?"

    Vir magna voce:

    "50 annos iam sororem tuam, uxorem habeo, ten' timeam?"

    Finis
    Last edited by LCF, Feb 20, 2013
  19. LCF a.k.a. Lucifer

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Apud Inferos
    Puella et Lupus

    Puella flavis capilis, in silva Lacernellam Rubram sequens, lupum vidit advenientem.

    "Salve, Lupe!" inquit sine timore. Lupus nihil dicens defugit.

    Puella perrexit et pauculum post, lupum occultatum post arboris vidit.

    "Heus, Lupe!" iterum sine timore.

    Lupus, ut antea, fugiens et latrans "Bah!... quomodo possum evadere ab ista, ut cacem in pace..."

    Finis

    Puella flavis capilis = a blonde
    Lacernella Rubra = little red riding hood
    Iordanus and Numarius like this.
  20. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    Ad orandum Christum. ;)
    LCF likes this.

Share This Page

 

Our Latin forum is a community for discussion of all topics relating to Latin language, ancient and medieval world.

Latin Boards on this Forum:

English to Latin, Latin to English translation, general Latin language, Latin grammar, Latine loquere, ancient and medieval world links.