The virile young god from the east was beloved...

By Pacifica, in 'English to Latin Translation', Dec 6, 2017 at 5:14 PM.

  1. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    And there was me reading this on the "recent activity" list and thinking, "Now here's a somewhat poetic-sounding exercise sentence."
    Dantius likes this.
  2. Cinefactus Censor

    • Censor
    Location:
    litore aureo
    Can I give it a go?

    virilis iuvenisque deus qui est ab oriente ortus , diligebatur a militibus, qui eum, luce facum exardescentium in templis subterraneis, quo cruor hostiarum solum luteum madefaciebat, colebant
  3. Bestiola Caepa Cirrata

    • Praetor
    • Praeco
    Now you have it ;)
  4. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    There's only one very serious mistake: quo means "where" with movement, "whither", so it's wrong here.

    Other more subtle things that could be discussed are:

    - The relative clause qui est ab oriente ortus felt slightly clumsy to me. Perhaps just ab oriente ortus would flow better.

    - Flagro may be a better verb than exardesco in this context.

    - I don't know if luce + gen. is idiomatic. I could be proven wrong if someone found an example, but in any case I can't remember seeing any and I didn't find any in L&S. Perhaps ad faces flagrantes would be better.
  5. Etaoin Shrdlu Imminent wormfood

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Ruritania
    Idiomatic for whom? Cicero? Augustine? Galileo? I'm never sure what sort of style people want to imitate.
    Cinefactus likes this.
  6. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    I would say any native Roman writer from Plautus to... well, let's say Augustine, but I wouldn't include the Vulgate because it's a (literal) translation rather than original Latin. I might also be wary of using in prose a construction attested only in poetry, even classical, but it depends.
  7. Etaoin Shrdlu Imminent wormfood

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Ruritania
    I assume that the problem with luce + genitive means being idiomatic refers to the genitive of fax, as it's unexceptional with sol or luna. I find the plural more surprising, as I don't believe the genitive plural is attested. In any case, I'd suspect lumine to luce to be more common in this context.
  8. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    No, actually, I meant the whole construction. I wasn't aware that the gen. of fax was rare or unattested, but it seems to be so.
    Luce solis/lunae in the sense "by the light of the sun/moon" in the sort of local meaning "by the light" has here? I can't find any example.
    Last edited by Pacifica, Dec 8, 2017 at 11:42 PM
  9. Etaoin Shrdlu Imminent wormfood

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Ruritania
    I'm not taking it in a local meaning. I don't think you can take the original with a local meaning in English, because of the idiom 'by the light of'.
  10. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    By "local" I mean "with the light of torches being near to illuminate them" or so. Maybe that's not exactly local, but I'm not sure what it should be called. At any rate, it doesn't mean "by means of" (the soldiers aren't worshipping the god by means of the light of torches), but that's what the bare Latin ablative would seem to mean. Until an example proves me wrong.
  11. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    I guess that the English could be, rather than local, an instrumental sort of loosely connected to the rest of the sentence: they don't worship the god by means of the light of torches, but it's by means of the light of torches that they can see what's around them in the temples and thus are enabled to worship the god there without bumping into each other and whatnot. Yet if this is so, it of course doesn't prove that the same thing can be done with the Latin ablative.
  12. Pacifica grammaticissima

    • Civis Illustris
    Location:
    Belgium
    Or perhaps "circumstantial" is what it should be called... The light of torches being an attendant circumstance, sort of...

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