... maybe you could bring it down to this simple summary:
There are essentially 3 options for what you can do with a drunk raccoon wandering through the streets of a German city:
1) Kill it.
2) Take it to an animal sanctuary.
3) Leave it alone and wait for it to go away.
Option 3 wouldn't make sense to any German.
Option 2 would really not be reasonable because the already poorly funded animal sanctuaries of Germany would run over with raccoons and other wild animals if you abode by that logic.
What you're left with is option 1, to which there is only one obstacle: You have to take the animal outside the city before executing it. But since the animal was drunk anyway, that didn't seem to be much of a problem.
The myriad of explanations comes from the myriad of reasons why #3 wouldn't make sense to any German
No, he wasn't. There are lots of idiots out there. Another headline from the site says that cannabis was found in empty shop, which is technically illogical, though it probably doesn't bother anyone but me.
Should be fixed now. But how the hell did that happen? It's apparently someone who's only made a few posts, but the search problem means you can't see them. I'm reasonably sure none of them were on anything I looked at today, and I have no idea who he is.