Perficite fabulam

A

Anonymous

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Perficite fabulam:

Fortasse dicere vis ita: Olim deus, Vulcanus, Gallo gladium pulchrum dedit

 

Vilhelmus

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Fortasse dicere vis ita: Olim deus, Vulcanus, Gallo gladium pulhcrum dedit. Memento omnia verba in rectas formas declinare!

At fabula continuatur:
... et Gallum miserum nescivit, contra quos gladio pugnet. Itaque Gallus...
 
A

Anonymous

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Gratia. Fabulam meam mutavi.

Olim deus, Vulcanus, Gallo gladium pulchrum dedit, et Gallum miserum nescivit, contra quos gladio pugnet. Itaque Gallus...

...gessi bellum contra gente alia.
 

Ioannes Moyses

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Additionem

Si placet, mutabo fabulam tuum quoque:

Olim deus, Vulcanus, Gallo gladium pulchrum dedit, et Gallum miserum nescivit, contra quos gladio pugnet. Itaque Gallus gessi bellum contra gente alia.

Bello tamen, Gallus amortem neglexerunt. Haec Aphroditam irrituit, et...
 

QMF

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Forsitan: gessit bellum contra gentem aliam. Verba declinanda sunt!
 

Andy

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Re: Additionem

Ioannes Moyses dixit:
Bello tamen, Gallus amortem neglexerunt. Haec Aphroditam irrituit, et...
Non intellego. Quid voluisti dicere? Quid interpretatio 'amortem' est? Estne 'ad mortem'?

To the war, nevertheless, the Gaul towards his death they neglected.

Revera 'irrituit' irritavitne est?
 

QMF

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Quoque si Aphrodite uti velis, declinatur in modo Graeco. In lingua Graeca accusativum singularis declinationis primae, si verbum desinit in "eta", est "eta nu" aut "en". Non callidum est tamen; utaris verbo "Venus" cuius genitivum singularis est Veneris.
 

Ioannes Moyses

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Andy: "Amortem" et "irrituit" errata sunt. Debent esse "amorem" et "irritavit." Gratia tibi.

Qmf: Gratia tibi quoque. Verbo "Venus" utabor.

"Neglexerunt" erratum est quoque!

Rescribo sententiam.

Nunc sententia est: Bello tamen, Gallus amorem neglexit. Hoc neglectus Venerem irritavitt, et...
 

QMF

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Futurum verbi "utor, uti, usus" incipit cum "utar" tumque it sicut verbi coniugationis tertiae :) Verbum quod tibi dixi est subiunctivum.
 

QMF

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Scribo plus:
..et sanguinem fervere valde egit, ut simulac videat feminam amore capiatur. Iamque femina in spectu est...
 

QMF

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Non; verbum quod tibi dixi (id est, "utaris") erat subiunctivum. Non res quas dicebas intellexisti; me paenitet.
 

Ioannes Moyses

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..et sanguinem fervere valde egit, ut simulac videat feminam amore capiatur. Iamque femina in spectu est...

... una sicut gemma pretiossima in omnia terra. Gallus non scivit quod agere, et in confusione sua is...
 

QMF

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pretiossima should be pretiosissima, which is why I would recommend pulcherrima instead.
Omnia should be omni, but the Latin idiom would probably render it as "in orbe terrarum." or even simply "orbis terrarum" Or possibly "pulcherrima gemmarum" And what's the "is" at the end?

What exactly were you trying to say with "Gallus non scivit quod agere"?

You're getting better though.
 

cinefactus

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Rather than non scivit, why not use nescio?

You could also consider an ablative absolute for the last clause:

nesciens in quo modo agere pectore autem confusione impleto Gallus...
 

QMF

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Wait, what exactly did you just try to say, stcinder?
I have "not knowing in what way" then I get a bit mixed up.
 

QMF

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I think this is a good time to consolidate all the posts that have been finalized:
Olim deus, Vulcanus, Gallo gladium pulchrum dedit, et Gallum miserum nescivit, contra quos gladio pugnet. Itaque Gallus gessit bellum contra gentem aliam. Bello tamen, Gallus amorem neglexit. Hic neglectus Venerem irritavit, et sanguinem fervere valde egit, ut simulac videat feminam amore capiatur. Iamque femina in spectu est...

I changed that hoc to hic, sorry that we didn't pick that up sooner. Not bad at all really, the story's definitely coming along.
 

Andy

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quemquem me facis dixit:
pretiossima should be pretiosissima, which is why I would recommend pulcherrima instead.
Omnia should be omni, but the Latin idiom would probably render it as "in orbe terrarum." or even simply "orbis terrarum" Or possibly "pulcherrima gemmarum" And what's the "is" at the end?

What exactly were you trying to say with "Gallus non scivit quod agere"?

You're getting better though.
I think he meant "The Gaul did not know what to do"

In that respect I would prefer the use of facere, as agere I see it more with gratias than in any other usage. Perseus Latin is down right now, so I can't double check that claim though... could be wrong.

I would change this as "Hoc Gallus non scivit, quod facere" since it matches the usages I've encountered.
 

Ioannes Moyses

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Multas gratias vobis, omnis qui me adiuvant.

Fabula crescet cotidie. Erratis correctis, rescribo segmentum proximum:

Iamque femina in spectu est...

... una sicut pulcherrima gemma in orbe terrarum. Confusionis impleto, Gallus hoc nescivit, quod facere...
 

QMF

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I'm thinking just "confusionis impletus" is the only problem and then we can move on :) Quidem fabula crescit cotidie.

I suppose since I just recently added a piece to this, I won't add more.
 
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