Request for Edgy Remark to Latin Teacher for Bad Grade

Jonathan

New Member
I had a little argument with my latin teacher so she will ask me tomorrow to see what I know. Since I don't know anything, I will probably get a bad grade, but I'd like someone to give me a good latin phrase that I could say later, when she gives me the grade. Something edgy, if possible

Thanks.
 

Imber Ranae

Ranunculus Iracundus
Veni, vidi, defeci.
 

Matthaeus

Vemortuicida strenuus
In other words, "I came, I saw, I defecated on your grade"
 

Acsacal

Civis Illustris
Other proposal, based on Cesar's remark to Brutus:
  • if you are English speaking => et tu, domina!
  • if you are anything else speaking => tu quoque domina!
 

malleolus

Civis Illustris
maybe something like
quoting Seneca's "non scholae, sed vitae discimus" (We do not learn for school, but for life)
You could turn it into " Scholae, non vitae discimus" (We only learn for school and not for life--> she'll take the hint , trust me)
You might also deliberately misquote Seneca's Ars prima regni est, posse invidiam pati.(Sen.Herc.f.353) The formemost art of kings is to be able to tolerate hatred
and say Ars prima magistrarum (of female teachers) est posse invidiam pati.
 

Arca Defectionis

Civis Illustris
Cras linguam oblitus ero, sed semper magistra linguae latinae eris. ;)

I've also edited a poem from Catullus so you can address the teacher with it.

Non (ita me di ament) quicquam referre puto,
utrumne os an culum olfaciam tuum.
nilo mundius hoc, niloque immundius illud,
verum etiam culus mundior et melior:
nam sine dentibus hic: dentis os sesquipedalis,
gingivas vero ploxeni habet veteris,
praeterea rictum qualem diffissus in aestu
meientis mulae cunnus habere solet.
[hic futuis multos et te facis esse venustam,
et non pistrino traderis atque asino?]
quem siqua attingit, non illum posse putemus
aegroti culum lingere carnificis?

The stuff in brackets ought to be left out unless your Latin teacher is actually sexually promiscuous. :p
 

Nikolaos

schmikolaos
Staff member
In my classes at OSU, learning and studying is my responsibility - the teachers are only there for clarification.

Keep that in mind if you continue to college - most incoming high school graduates expect everything to be done for them, and they fail their first set of exams. It often goes downhill from there as they get caught in a vicious cycle.

High school is the perfect time and place to practice learning. Don't depend on the teachers - know the material before the lecture. If you can't do that in college, then you'll be in serious trouble.

My second chemistry exam was a few days ago. My class is composed entirely of engineering students - these are people who could sleep though class in high school and get an A anyway. But, the average score on the exam was about 53%. The nonengineering chem classes, far less intensive, averaged 14% and 43%.*

These people have never learned to actually study. Sure, they have time to recover their GPAs, and many of them will, but now they have to fight an uphill battle that could have been avoided by studying.

*In the one with 14%, students were penalized for guessing incorrectly. Negative scores brought down an average that would otherwise have been something like that of the other class.
 

Arca Defectionis

Civis Illustris
While this is a valid point (and I've found it to be generally true in college classes), that doesn't mean you should put any effort into Latin unless you plan to continue with it. I somehow doubt you'd be asking us this if you intended to take Latin in college.

If we're going to judge this guy, we should keep it constructive as Nikolaos has at least. He came to get an edgy remark for his teacher. What good does it do for us to call him "worthless," and why wouldn't we answer his request as we would any other?
 

Nikolaos

schmikolaos
Staff member
He most likely elected to take Latin - most schools don't force students to learn it.

I actually am being forced to take classes I'm not interested in. I study them even harder.
 

Pacifica

grammaticissima
Staff member
I remember, when I was 13 there was a Latin option for my class. My mother tried to convince me to take it, but I categorically refused, like "it's no use, no body speaks it any more, and they saiy it's difficult, etc, etc..." Who would have thought that a few years later I would spontaneously decide to take correspondance courses and develop a passion for it!
 

Adrian

Civis Illustris
He most likely elected to take Latin - most schools don't force students to learn it.

I actually am being forced to take classes I'm not interested in. I study them even harder.
Nick, according to his profile he's 22. I assume he is a student. As far as I recall (european model) some faculties have obligatory latin (for 1 year), e.g. history, law, medicine, pharmacology, political sciences. My colleagues from sociology and psychology faculties also had obligatory latin (for 1 semester on first year). My colleague from history faculty not only had latin for 1 year, he also had special subjects like medieval latin paleography, introduction to eccelsiastical latin etc.
 

Aurifex

Aedilis
Staff member
why wouldn't we answer his request as we would any other?
Maybe because not everyone thinks it's worthwhile indulging a feckless student's puny resentment towards his teacher by assisting him in his vain attempt to get one over on her with a crude display of borrowed erudition.
I can assure you that your own suggestion of an obscene riposte adapted from Catullus will fail to generate the shock or amusement you imagine it will; teachers are generally only older versions of their students, more inured to obscenity than they are, and apt to find it tedious unless original, which this is not.
 

Nikolaos

schmikolaos
Staff member
If he is in college/university, and if the course is mandatory, and assuming that he is not a freshman, then my comments are less relevant. But, there is no reason to take out that frustration on the professor.
 

Pacifica

grammaticissima
Staff member
Maybe because not everyone thinks it's worthwhile indulging a feckless student's puny resentment towards his teacher by assisting him in his vain attempt to get one over on her with a crude display of borrowed erudition.
I can assure you that your own suggestion of an obscene riposte adapted from Catullus will fail to generate the shock or amusement you imagine it will; teachers are generally only older versions of their students, more inured to obscenity than they are, and apt to find it tedious unless original, which this is not.
Maybe you're not completely wrong, but don't you think that insulting him of "worthless" might be somewhat excessive?
 

Arca Defectionis

Civis Illustris
Maybe because not everyone thinks it's worthwhile indulging a feckless student's puny resentment towards his teacher by assisting him in his vain attempt to get one over on her with a crude display of borrowed erudition.
I can assure you that your own suggestion of an obscene riposte adapted from Catullus will fail to generate the shock or amusement you imagine it will; teachers are generally only older versions of their students, more inured to obscenity than they are, and apt to find it tedious unless original, which this is not.

Perhaps you may find it not "worthwhile," but then wouldn't it be best simply to leave this thread alone, instead of spending your time putting him to shame? It's merely a joke, and he most likely will not need to have won his teacher's favor, having failed the class besides. I hardly think it "puny resentment" but rather a joke, and I doubt he would impute that his quotation was anything but borrowed, as that would be a problem if she were to respond in Latin. Finally, "feckless" isn't a word I'd use here; it seems he hasn't put much if any effort into his course. Who knows to what heights he could climb if he tried.

And you're right about the Catullus quotation. So I'll try with original quotations, or at least not dramatically edited ones.

"Atque in perpetuum ave atque vale" (though she'll know 'frater' has been cut out... the sentiment is clear. I'll never have to take your class again)

Actually, I think this may be just what you are looking for, OP:

"Prisca iuvent alios: ego me nunc denique natum gratulor" (loosely, "let others appreciate the ancient times; I'm just as glad I was born now")

Who would have thought, even Romans felt this way!
 

Nikolaos

schmikolaos
Staff member
Now, it is only fair that I qualify my anecdote about the chemistry exams, which I composed in such a way as to give a certain effect.

There is nothing special about being an engineering student - most students that move on to any college program probably did well in school and may not have had to put much effort into getting good grades before college.

The important thing is that engineering students like to *think* that they are smarter, and so think that study is unnecessary. That kind of thinking stops by the sophomore year, I'm sure.

The things that likely contributed to the engineering class's higher score are the doom-and-gloom prophesies that our professor has spoken to us, and the heavy work load we were given starting from the first lecture. Plenty of people quickly dropped the class, leaving the more dedicated and interested students behind.

The other classes probably didn't have quite the same initial workload, and so fewer of the lazy students dropped out. The great scores obtained by the top percent weren't enough to help the class average by much.
 

Adrian

Civis Illustris
If he is in college/university, and if the course is mandatory, and assuming that he is not a freshman, then my comments are less relevant. But, there is no reason to take out that frustration on the professor.
Nick, my answer was more speculative rather than rethorical. As far as I know most of the faculties I previously mentioned have mandatory latin on first year. OP has 22 (either second or thir study year). He might as well taken it as one of the facultative subjects on the third year (this way your previous reply is relevant).
 
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