Tattoo Your Strength Is My Power, Forever

[Biscuit]

I've had a couple of years of latin, but it has been a couple more years since I last studied the language. I am trying to translate the phrase "Your Strength is My Power, Forever." An adaptation of the chorus to the song for our first dance.

What I have right now (after digging out the old text book) is: Fortitudines Vestra Meus Potentatus, Semper.

A couple of specifics: while looking at some other threads I noticed someone recommended the "est" be excluded from a similar phrase. I like this idea because I think this leaves me with a solid chiasmus, but correct me if I'm wrong. I am also writing this phrase in reference to my wife and daughter, hence my use of the plural in the beginning.

Basically I'm aiming for an intelligible translation that my magistra would see and not want to go retroactively change my grades in her class.

Thanks in advance!

 

[Ignis Umbra]

Hello,

One problem that I'm seeing is that vestra should be vestrae to agree with fortitudines, and I'd actually say vires if you're talking about physical force rather than mental capacity.

I think potentatus refers to political power rather than generic power, so I'd try potestas. I'd also move meus (with potestas it should be mea) after the noun.

Lastly, I'd place semper in the middle.

After those remediations, the end product should look something like this: Vires vestrae semper potestas mea.

Others are more than welcome to share ideas; "power/strength" can be difficult to accurately translate sometimes.

 

[Abbatiſſæ Scriptor]

After those remediations, the end product should look something like this: Vires vestrae semper potestas mea.

Confirm

 

[Biscuit]

Thank you for the quick responses. I am interpreting both the "strength" and "power" in abstract, incorporeal terms. Something along the lines of moral integrity and courage. I looked up vires and potestas in the Perseus database (no offense meant, I wanted to see what definitions it offered) and think that they are more accurate to my interpretation.

As for the syntax, is it necessary for the pronoun to follow the noun? I liked the idea of a chiasmus, but I was always bad at recognizing them, thus I may be reading into something that isn't there. I may also be trying to utilize English grammar too much, but I was imagining the semper being at the end because the "forever" in the original would follow a long pause (an ellipsis or an em dash). Finally, would it be wrong to use a singular for the first part: vis vestra? Would this refer to their collective strength and does it make more sense that way?

Thanks again!

 

[Ignis Umbra]

As for the syntax, is it necessary for the pronoun to follow the noun?

Not always, though close proximity of the nouns and their modifying adjectives (there aren't any pronouns in this phrase) is orthodox.

I may also be trying to utilize English grammar too much, but I was imagining the semper being at the end because the "forever" in the original would follow a long pause (an ellipsis or an em dash).

One interesting element of Latin is that, for the most part, word order is irrelevant; words can be arranged in different ways and still deliver the same meanings. I placed semper in the middle to introduce symmetry, but you may place it at the end if you so desire.

Finally, would it be wrong to use a singular for the first part: vis vestra? Would this refer to their collective strength and does it make more sense that way?

Honestly, I think the call is yours to make. If you want it to focus more on the individual strengths rather than collective strength, use the plural, vires vestrae. If not, the singular should suffice. Either is valid.

 

[Abbatiſſæ Scriptor]

Not always, though close proximity of the nouns and their modifying adjectives is orthodox.

Would it were always so, but alas...