Book 1 (5.50-5.104)

Quintus Horatius Flaccus, The Satires, 1.5: 50-104

Sermonum, Liber Primus The Satires, Book One
(50) hinc nos Coccei recipit plenissima villa,
quae super est Caudi cauponas. nunc mihi paucis
Sarmenti scurrae pugnam Messique Cicirri,
Musa, velim memores et quo patre natus uterque
contulerit litis. Messi clarum genus Osci;
(50) From this place a very plentiful villa of Cocceius,
which is above the inns of Caudus, receives us. Now, my muse,
I beg of you briefly to relate a fight of jesters Sarmentus and Messius Cicirrus;
and from what ancestry descended each began the contest. The illutrious race
of Messius-Oscan:
(55) Sarmenti domina exstat: ab his maioribus orti
ad pugnam venere. prior Sarmentus 'equi te
esse feri similem dico.' ridemus, et ipse
Messius 'accipio,' caput et movet. 'o tua cornu
(55) Sarmentus's mistress is still alive. From these ancestors
of origin to the fight they came. First, Sarmentus:
"I say that you have a look of a wild horse." We laugh;
and Messius himself says "I approve" and shakes his head.
(59) ni foret exsecto frons,' inquit, 'quid faceres, cum
sic mutilus minitaris?' at illi foeda cicatrix
saetosam laevi frontem turpaverat oris.
(59) He says, "oh, if your horn was not cut out from your forehead,
what would you do, when you hornless threaten us so?"
Moreover, that beastly scar had disfigured
the hairy eye-brow on the left side of his face.
(62) Campanum in morbum, in faciem permulta iocatus,
pastorem saltaret uti Cyclopa rogabat:
nil illi larva aut tragicis opus esse cothurnis.
(62) Having laughed at his Campanian disease, he
asked him to dance the Cyclops shepherd dance:
and he said that he had no need for a mask or tragic buskins
(65) multa Cicirrus ad haec: donasset iamne catenam
ex voto Laribus, quaerebat; scriba quod esset,
nilo deterius dominae ius esse; rogabat
denique, cur umquam fugisset, cui satis una
farris libra foret, gracili sic tamque pusillo.
prorsus iucunde cenam producimus illam.
(65) Cicirrus said much to this: he already presented a chain
from wish/prayer to the household gods, he asked whether;
the fact that he is a scribe, his mistress has no less rights over him.
Finally he asked why he had ever fled, he, so slender
and tiny, to whom one pound of grain would have been enough.
We prolong the dinner pleasantly.

(71) tendimus hinc recta Beneventum, ubi sedulus hospes
paene macros arsit dum turdos versat in igni.
nam vaga per veterem dilapso flamma culinam
Volcano summum properabat lambere tectum.

(71) From here we aim straight to Beneventum; where attentive host
nearly set his house on fire, while the thrushes meagrely keep turning in the fire;
For wondering through the old kitchen, Fire, having slipped away from the
stove, a flame hastening to lick the highest part of the roof through the old kitchen.
(75) convivas avidos cenam servosque timentis
tum rapere atque omnis restinguere velle videres.
(75) You might have seen the greedy guests and the frightened
slaves trying to snatch off dinner plates and trying to extinguish the fire.
(77) incipit ex illo montis Apulia notos
ostentare mihi, quos torret Atabulus et quos
nunquam erepsemus, nisi nos vicina Trivici
villa recepisset lacrimoso non sine fumo,
udos cum foliis ramos urente camino.
(77) Next Apulia begins to show to me mountains
known to me, which Atabulus scorches, and which
we would have never climbed, if the villa has
not received us, not without tearful smoke furnace
burning wet branches along with the leaves.
(82) hic ego mendacem stultissimus usque puellam
ad mediam noctem exspecto; somnus tamen aufert
intentum veneri; tum inmundo somnia visu
nocturnam vestem maculant ventremque supinum.
(82) Here I, very stupid, wait continuously until
the middle of the night for a deceitful girl; sleep
at last steals me eager to Venus; then dream with
a dirty sight spots my night clothes and my belly.

(86) quattuor hinc rapimur viginti et milia raedis,
mansuri oppidulo, quod versu dicere non est,
signis perfacile est: venit vilissima rerum
hic aqua, sed panis longe pulcherrimus, ultra
callidus ut soleat umeris portare viator.

(86) From here we are dragged along by chariots for 24 miles,
we will stay in a small town, which cannot be said by verse, by
a sign can be said easily: here water the most worthless of things
is sold; but the bread is by far the finest, so that the cunning traveller
is accustomed to willingly carry it on his shoulders further;
(91) nam Canusi lapidosus, aquae non ditior urna:
qui locus a forti Diomede est conditus olim.
(91) for at Canusium bread is stony, the water is not better,
which place was once found by brave Dionysus.
(93) flentibus hinc Varius discedit maestus amicis. (93) From here sad Varius leaves his friends with tears.
(94) inde Rubos fessi pervenimus, utpote longum
carpentes iter et factum corruptius imbri.
(94) From that place we tired arrived at Rubi, in as much
as we pluck the long journey and rain made very incorrectly
(96) postera tempestas melior, via peior ad usque
Bari moenia piscosi; dein Gnatia Lymphis
iratis exstructa dedit risusque iocosque,
dum flamma sine tura liquescere limine sacro
(96) The next day's weather was better, the road is worse all
the way to the walls of Bus (Bari?), teeming with fish; then Gnatia,
built upon angry waters, offered us both laughter and jokes,
while the town wants to persuade us that here incense melts without fire
(100) persuadere cupit. credat Iudaeus Apella,
non ego; namque deos didici securum agere aevom
nec, siquid miri faciat natura, deos id
tristis ex alto caeli demittere tecto.
(100) Let Apella the Jew believe this, not me:
For I have learned that gods live an untroubled life,
that if nature were to do anything miraculous, the gods
in their misery do not send it down from the high vault of heaven.
(104) Brundisium longae finis chartaeque viaeque est. (104) Brundisium is the end of both the long story and long journey.