My God, why did you abandon me? What have I done to deserve this?

[Aryuna]

Good day to everybody! I would like to formally introduce myself to this forum, I'm Aryuna, I am a composer and I have long adored Latin ever since I was 12 years old. Now, I wish to incorporate Latin into a song I am making.

I would like the poem below translated for a song that I am currently making. This song is entirely for fun, but I want to remain extremely loyal and respectful towards the language via not using cheap online translations.

"My God, why did you abandon me? What have I done to deserve this?
My mother, why did you abandon me? What have I done to deserve this?

My God, why do you curse me? I am but a worm.
My mother, why do you hate me? I am but a sin.

Is there salvation?
There is no salvation.
Only the darkness.
Only despair.

An eternal night."

It is spoken by a young girl who is incredibly resentful and nihilistic towards God and her mother for forsaking her. Broken by hate and sorrow, she can't do anything but simply be extremely pessimistic about her outlook on life.

Any help is greatly appreciated and I promise to credit everyone who'll help in this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and please have a nice day!

Regards,
Aryuna

 

[Pacifica]

Hi, here's a translation. It's in prose, however, but to my mind so is the English.

I have assumed that "My God, why did you abandon me?" and "I am but a worm" are intentional Biblical references, so I have fetched the Vulgate quotes for those and have adapated the whole style of my translation accordingly, to a style that is in places more Biblical than classical. If I am wrong on this point and you wish to avoid the speaker's words sounding like Jesus's words, just tell me; there are other ways to say the same thing.

Deus meus, ut quid dereliquisti me*? Quo facto hoc merui?
Mater mea, ut quid dereliquisti me? Quo facto hoc merui?

Deus meus, ut quid maledicis mihi? Ego sum vermis.**
Mater mea, ut quid odisti me? Ego sum peccatum.

Estne salus?
Non est salus.
Solae tenebrae.
Sola desperatio.

*Matt. 27:46; Mark 15:34
**Ps. 21:7 (in the Vulgate; not every version of the Bible orders the Psalms the same way)

 

[Aryuna]

Hello and thank you for taking the time for helping me in this.

Yes, those two sentences that you have quoted are indeed Biblical references, and the way you have translated is more than amazing! It captures entirely the feel that this song is going for. I am truly honored and humbled for your help. Once again, I thank you wholeheartedly for this.

Also, how shall I credit you in this song I am making? Do you have a preferred name you would like to use or et cetera?

Regards,
Aryuna

 

[Pacifica]

Hi,

I'll PM you concerning the credit.

 

[Dantius]

Deus meus, ut quid dereliquisti me*? Quo facto hoc merui?
Mater mea, ut quid dereliquisti me? Quo facto hoc merui?

Deus meus, ut quid maledicis mihi? Ego sum vermis.**
Mater mea, ut quid odisti me? Ego sum peccatum.

Estne salus?
Non est salus.
Solae tenebrae.
Sola desperatio.

I think you missed the line "an eternal night" at the end. That would be translated nox aeterna or aeterna nox (whichever sounds better)

 

[Pacifica]

Oops, yes, I overlooked that last line. Sorry.

 

[Aryuna]

Hi again! I'm sorry I couldn't reply or answer to this thread yesterday since I was very busy with school work.

I think you missed the line "an eternal night" at the end. That would be translated nox aeterna or aeterna nox (whichever sounds better)

Thank you Dantius for pointing that out and offering a translation, I didn't notice it myself a while back.

How shall I credit you for your help?

Regards,
Aryuna

 

[AVGVSTA]

Maybe "Nox Perpetua" for eternal night in honor of Catullus?